when the rabbi's wife plays gay matchmaker

by Leah Bieler


The following is a true story, but the names have been changed to protect those who were not interested in broadcasting their personal lives on the internet and beyond. Enjoy.

 

It was past midnight and we were driving home when I broached the subject. “Who can we set him up with?”

“I was already considering it,” my husband answered a bit too quickly. “Actually, it’s all I’ve been thinking about since we walked out of the theater.”

We had spent the evening at a big Broadway production. A friend from high school had a prominent role. I’d seen Andy rarely in the years since we’d graduated, at weddings mostly. Still, I was eager to cheer his success. It was exciting, but I was dreading the visit backstage after the show. I hate feeling like a hanger-on, waiting around awkwardly while I try not to look like a gawker.

This time was different, though. Andy was so sweet and generous, asking about our kids and excitedly introducing us to the actors. I felt not at all a gawker, more a visitor to a friend’s for an intimate dinner party. When my husband asked Andy if he was involved with anyone, Andy—looking almost longingly at the iPhone pic of our brood—answered, “No, I’m all alone.”

And so there we were, stuck in construction traffic at one o’clock in the morning, paging through our mental Rolodexes under “Jewish gay men, 30s, artsy.” After trying on a few matches for size, we both settled on someone we thought would be a great match: Jeremy. He was sweet, smart, good-looking, and a successful musician to boot. A little younger, maybe. There was only one problem.

We weren’t positive he was gay.

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as I enter the witness protection program...

by Leah Bieler


Over the past five days, I've been riveted by the coverage of the three young men who were kidnapped in Israel. I hope, and pray, that they will be brought back safe and soon. But the theology represented by the outpouring of conspicuous public piety in the Jewish community has some troubling aspects, which I explore in this piece in the Forward.

 

When my eldest daughter was three years old, she enjoyed a comfortable morning routine. After breakfast, if she dressed quickly, she was allowed to watch half an episode of “Sesame Street” before heading off to school. Like most three-year-olds, she enjoyed the predictability and sameness of quiet time with Elmo and Grover and Oscar the Grouch. Every morning, she was engrossed, dancing and singing along, blonde ringlets bouncing.

Then, one Monday morning, tragedy struck. Instead of “Sesame Street,” there was a new show on PBS. She was horrified. Tears streaming down her face, she looked up at me and with all earnestness asked, “Ima, why did HaShem have to change the TV schedule?”



Read more: http://forward.com/articles/200199/prayer-wont-bringbackourboys/?p=all#ixzz34uUzP3EJ


on holocaust board games and other lessons

by Leah Bieler


I often find myself in a funny place when it comes to parenting. I am (relatively) strict with my kids, but (very) permissive when it comes to their access to information. So, I don't censor what they read, I rarely censor what movies they watch, I am comfortable answering nearly any kind of question. This blog post on the Forward was inspired by my childhood experience and an innocent question from my then five year old about the holocaust.

 

“So, children, tell me how you came to Theresienstadt.”

Thus began my seventh grade intro to Shoah education. Not that we hadn’t been learning about the Holocaust for most of our day school careers. There was the yearly replica of Yad Vashem, where each grade was responsible for a booth, countless Holocaust-themed books and reports, and the rite of passage that we liked to call, “create a board game based on the book Night by Elie Wiesel.”



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Where I'm not sure if I'm a bigot.....

by Leah Bieler


I have to believe I'm not the only one who's ever thought about this question - do my particularistic Jewish choices close me off from the rest of the world, or even make me a bigot? See my take on this question from Jewcy.com, starting here.

 

It was my sophomore year and a group of us were gathered in a dorm room, teenage bodies splayed across beds and chairs and floor. I don’t recall exactly what prompted the conversation, but someone asked a dorm mate, an Indian national, to talk about the possibility of arranged marriage.

“That’s crazy,” complained one of my friends. “To assume that the person you are meant to be with happens to be from your ethnic group. You could find him anywhere. It’s racist.”

Well, that stopped me in my tracks. Since hiding in that tiny, crowded room wasn’t really an option, I just sat still, hoping no one would notice me. And it might have worked, if not for my close friend who announced to my horror, “Leah will only date and marry Jews.” Despite all of my attempts to be seen as a left-leaning, color blind, student of the world, I had just been called out as a bigot. Awesome.

 

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